Monday, November 16, 2015

Being Heard - My Voice 2

When I last recalled how I pictured myself, I never once thought to myself how seemingly bad or wrong I was in life. It might just be me and my thoughts, but most recently it seemed as if, even a simple opinion of mine was wrong.

Without give away names, or to much detail I would like to explain. Like, I have done before.

Here, I am sitting down to lunch with a friend and someone special. My friend wasn't hungry so they didn't get anything, but my special someone and I were so we ordered, not two minutes after I sat down and started to eat, my friend who was sitting at another table close by, was asked respectful to move to a different table/seat. As the table they were at was a table that a disabled elderly lady liked sit at when then came in at the same time everyday, my friend respectful said of course no problem, which it was no problem at all.

And we continued to eat and then proceeded to leave the restaurant, but after we three leave, I proceeded to ask what happened or why? Which lead to an arguement I wasn't expecting at all; all I was doing was asking a question and responding by stating an opinion about the situation, which is in turn why I am upset and writing. Anyways, my friend told me what was said, and that it was respectful, which in turn lead me to say that it would also have been respectful for them to have sat somewhere else when you were already sitting down. My friend then proceeded to yell at me and throw down my throat that it was the respectful thing to do, And that if they were disabled, they would have liked to be treated the same way, I am not or was not saying that it wasn't respectful what they did at all and I will go on to say that if it had been me and not my friend I would have gladly given up my seat or table to someone respectful asking to sit there, my issue is that my friend did not hear me out all that mattered was their opinion not mine, I proceeded to try and say to my friend again that although everything was said and done respectfully fact of the matter is they could have respectfully sat somewhere else temporarily until my friend either got up from the table or left.

The problem I have with people is the fact that my opinions although I always consider my opinions good. People on the other hand take anything I say whether opinion or not they take it literal and every time what I say is not good, most of the time even though people don't say it, I feel it's the way they say certain things, that has me saying, So, what your saying to me is this "I'M WRONG AND YOU'RE RIGHT." Is that it. I'm so tired of being told that I'm wrong or what I'm saying is bad, no matter what I say to my friend or how I say it to them, I'm Wrong, what I say is bad, and they're right, like any time I open my mouth, it's almost like they're telling me STOP, your words are wrong and I don't care what you say because all that matters is what I have to say, it's almost like everyday I waste my time trying to state opinions because in turn no one wants to hear what I have to say.

The thing is, whether my friend knows it or not I have a voice and it's beautiful and I love hearing what it has to say about things, and with this issue on hand I'll say something for sure, and tell my friend how I really feel. You're right in some ways that it was all respectful, but I am also right in stating that it would have also been respectful of the elderly disabled lady and her husband to have waited until we left the restaurant to sit at the exact table that you were currently occupying.

Personally, it bothers me when I am misunderstood and sometimes not even being heard. I have written before about not Being Heard, this time I write about being misunderstood. It hurts to try and determine what day is a good day to speak out and what day isn't.


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Some people, might say I am making way to big a deal about the restaurant thing, problem is if you hear me out, you'll understand that problem isn't what happened at the restaurant, but what happened after when we left, when my friend didn't let me have an opinion or at least even try and hear me out before raising their voice like I am some kind of child. I'm not, and so I expect the same respect everyone else gets when speaking out an opinion, like BEING HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD.

I realize that at least one person other than myself, probably has something similar and well I guess I want that person where ever they are to know they have a voice, too. It's just not everyone wants to hear it, but I will tell you this, whoever the other person is, whether someone accepts your opinion or not you have a right to yourself to let it be heard, maybe your friend won't listen to it, but I'm here.

And that's why I put this out here, you have a voice and right now my friend will read this and maybe they'll accept it, maybe they won't. All that matters to me is that I'm heard by someone if not the one person that should hear it.

I don't care about an issue that happened at a restaurant, that happened several hours ago, what matters is that my friend understands that not every opinion that comes from their mouth is okay to say, because your not always right and you're not perfect either so stop acting like you are, because I have, had just about enough of you telling me I'm wrong when I haven't done or said anything nearly as wrong or as bad as you have, so stop acting like you're always right and I am always wrong and that you're the victim every single time I open my mouth, I say the things I say because it's the truth and because I'm tired of holding onto the terrible lies that come with holding in the truth. So, there I'm not perfect and neither are you FRIEND. Keep up the way you treat me and someday we just might not be...

Being Heard - My Voice

You ever have a moment where you talk with one friend about another friend and your really nice to the friend your talking to, but you start agreeing with them on everything they say, when truth is you feel bad talking about this other friend when their not around to defend them self or tell their side of things, like when two of your best friends aren't talking to one another, but they talk to you about each other.

That's where I'm at right now, I forget a lot of times that I do also have a voice when my friends aren't talking to one another, mainly because I'm trying so hard to get what needs to be said out and heard by both people. I get myself so wrapped up in being involved and being a good friend by heart that I lose my voice. And in doing so I over do it, like when one tells you they just want to vent and you get so mad at the other that you end up sending this crazy, loud, over the top message because your passionate that your friend who is venting to you is really hurt by what has happened and since they don't have the courage to confront the other person, you have to. Okay, so maybe you don't have to, but it's the fact of you want to, you want it to be over with and you want things to better, and in return; to be heard. So, you write the most truthful and over exaggerated message that after you send it you know that there is no going back, but you send it anyway because your emotions are on unsatisfying discomfort from being stuck again in between two best friends when all you want in your regular day is peace.

I sit and wonder after sending the most awful message, and I say I hope the other person writes back at the same time begging them Please don't write back. Well, they do and it's unsettling to know that what you just wrote was taken so harshly and was blown way out of proportion and all you want to do is cry because that is in no way what you want to have come back at you. The fact is when things are typed or written and not spoken no matter who the person is on the other side receiving the message, the message may or may not be taken all to well, it's up to the person sending the message to try and make up for the miscommunication and find an even ground that both sides can work with together.

So, with all messaging aside for now. I hope that even though both friends tell me the other needs to talk, fact is it should never matter who has or hasn't talked, but who needs to talk, you both have something to say, so you both should be able to write your thoughts down and send them, like I have done. Doesn't matter if either one of you likes what the other had to say, it makes it so you both talked and not me, and you both got what needed to be said out. I love both of you dearly, but it is all up to you how you handle things from here, you both tell me day in and day out that your sorry for dragging me into this, but yet it continues and you two don't get no where, you apologize to me all the time when instead of wasting your time and voice and energy on apologies, you should be talking, messaging or what ever to each other, I love both of you and I'm never going to leave either one of your sides, but you two have gotten through much worse and I wasn't there, so what's stop you now? Honestly, you both make plenty of excuses to the point, where you both are so tired of making excuses on why you don't want to talk, that it's got to the point where you just don't care, or you just don't want to care.

I think you both know what needs to be done, but I will promise you both one thing, if you both have the courage to talk to me face to face about one another, than that means you don't need anymore courage to write it down or type it up and send it to each other. You both are honest and open to me when ever I do something wrong, and now it's my turn, you both have heard what I had to say, now it's your turn. It's time you both stop holding your frustration and anger and all other misunderstandings to yourselves and get them out their to one another. I could care less if this fixes the problem or not, I could care less if you two became friends or not, but if it gets you two to talk to each other instead of through me and gets you two on a common ground or simply a common understanding on what is going on in each others lives, then I'm fine with that more then anything.

If anyone who reads any of my blogs wishes to leave a comment, Please do so through my email: fairygurlLover@hotmail.com. I would love to hear all the reviews of my blogs all comments are appreciated. Thank you.