Being Heard - My Voice

You ever have a moment where you talk with one friend about another friend and your really nice to the friend your talking to, but you start agreeing with them on everything they say, when truth is you feel bad talking about this other friend when their not around to defend them self or tell their side of things, like when two of your best friends aren't talking to one another, but they talk to you about each other.

That's where I'm at right now, I forget a lot of times that I do also have a voice when my friends aren't talking to one another, mainly because I'm trying so hard to get what needs to be said out and heard by both people. I get myself so wrapped up in being involved and being a good friend by heart that I lose my voice. And in doing so I over do it, like when one tells you they just want to vent and you get so mad at the other that you end up sending this crazy, loud, over the top message because your passionate that your friend who is venting to you is really hurt by what has happened and since they don't have the courage to confront the other person, you have to. Okay, so maybe you don't have to, but it's the fact of you want to, you want it to be over with and you want things to better, and in return; to be heard. So, you write the most truthful and over exaggerated message that after you send it you know that there is no going back, but you send it anyway because your emotions are on unsatisfying discomfort from being stuck again in between two best friends when all you want in your regular day is peace.

I sit and wonder after sending the most awful message, and I say I hope the other person writes back at the same time begging them Please don't write back. Well, they do and it's unsettling to know that what you just wrote was taken so harshly and was blown way out of proportion and all you want to do is cry because that is in no way what you want to have come back at you. The fact is when things are typed or written and not spoken no matter who the person is on the other side receiving the message, the message may or may not be taken all to well, it's up to the person sending the message to try and make up for the miscommunication and find an even ground that both sides can work with together.

So, with all messaging aside for now. I hope that even though both friends tell me the other needs to talk, fact is it should never matter who has or hasn't talked, but who needs to talk, you both have something to say, so you both should be able to write your thoughts down and send them, like I have done. Doesn't matter if either one of you likes what the other had to say, it makes it so you both talked and not me, and you both got what needed to be said out. I love both of you dearly, but it is all up to you how you handle things from here, you both tell me day in and day out that your sorry for dragging me into this, but yet it continues and you two don't get no where, you apologize to me all the time when instead of wasting your time and voice and energy on apologies, you should be talking, messaging or what ever to each other, I love both of you and I'm never going to leave either one of your sides, but you two have gotten through much worse and I wasn't there, so what's stop you now? Honestly, you both make plenty of excuses to the point, where you both are so tired of making excuses on why you don't want to talk, that it's got to the point where you just don't care, or you just don't want to care.

I think you both know what needs to be done, but I will promise you both one thing, if you both have the courage to talk to me face to face about one another, than that means you don't need anymore courage to write it down or type it up and send it to each other. You both are honest and open to me when ever I do something wrong, and now it's my turn, you both have heard what I had to say, now it's your turn. It's time you both stop holding your frustration and anger and all other misunderstandings to yourselves and get them out their to one another. I could care less if this fixes the problem or not, I could care less if you two became friends or not, but if it gets you two to talk to each other instead of through me and gets you two on a common ground or simply a common understanding on what is going on in each others lives, then I'm fine with that more then anything.

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